Yung Joc arrested for sexual assault

Rapper Yung Joc has been arrested last night after he sexually attacked a young woman at a local dance club.

Reports by eye witness say Yung Joc went into the club and only targeted women.

“He was just pointing at me and my girls asking us which one of us wants to go” said Shamika Jackson. “He looked like a real freak and we thought he might try to take all four of us down so we left the club.”

It was after horrid ritual of know as inny meeny minny mo, Yung Joc picked his victim. He pinned down the woman. Where as the victims police reports state “he started chewing on my pu$$y like it was bubble yum”

The victim was left in a state of shock, terror and pain.

“I couldn’t believe this was happening. How could someone do something like this and worst why didn’t anyone stop him? I know they saw it. He had me pinned down in the middle of the club. I know they heard my screams. Dear God he was chewing on my pu$$y like it was a piece of bubble yum!”


“One of the oddest things about this case…” said Officer Mahoney “…is that just after he was done with torturing the young woman he was reported to be like bim bam I know you want some.”

Looking deeper in this case it seems that years ago rapper Yung Joc was a victim of similar attack by a stripper and hip-hop madam Ms. B.

One of Yung Joc’s boys reported “man we was the club and there was this chick that knew how to work the poll. She climbed to the top and came down real slow.”

He added “When he say her I knew wanted some because he was all like bim bam, y’know. She could tell too, which is why I think see came down are started…started chewing on his dick like a piece of bubble yum. She did robbed him and told him it was rat race.”

Psychologists believe that of this traffic event years ago this may be the only way the rapper can reach sexual gratification. “Plus ya know his dick is useless since it all bloody and chewed up.” Says Dr. Knockboots.

Is Yung Joc just a sexual predator cannibalizing women in clubs or his he victim continuing the circle of violence?

Buddy Christ not winning converts in Iraq

In Baghdad people are storming the streets in anger after a curfew (placed because of bombing attacks) was lifted Sunday. But the people are not mad because they were made to go to bed early (well Qadir Izz al Din but that was because he didn’t eat all his peas).

No the people of Iraq were upset over photos lift by American soldiers after a raid. This photo of the character Buddy Christ form the film Dogma:





We at 5y207x thought it was easy to figure out why people in a mostly Muslim country. So we couldn’t understand who in the army thought this would be a good ideal. I mean aren’t we trying to win their hearts and minds, clear if we where we would have dropped pictures of Buddy Mohammed.

When asked officials in the US and Iraq all allegations where denied.

We then asked a solider what he thought and he thought it was funny.

“Heh that’s funny” said Thomas Rubens age 19. “Who doesn’t like Kevin Smith movies? How many cocks did you suck! Ha love that guy’s work”

5y207x talked to a few Iraqi citizens to get their reaction.

Abdul-Razzaq Qays stated “How could these infidels do something like this? It is clear they don’t care about the feeling nor beliefs of the Iraqi people.”

“Yeah, yeah” Fahd Moosa “I mean really how dare you American letter our clean land with your fealty media…I mean fucking Kevin Smith? Really, his work is shit!”

“He is a horrid director. Just look at his movies, it nothing but people talking. I don’t need to watch 2 hours of nerds talking about Star Wars and sex.” Said Abdul. “Besides who cares about Star Wars, nowadays? That franchise totally went down the drain when Lucas got re-editing happy with the films and put out those crappy prequels. Plus he made Darth Vader into a whinny little punk. Come on it’s Dark Vader, how can you F*ck up one of the greatest villains in cinema history?”

“Forget about Star Wars if Kevin Smith wanted to tap into a sci-fi franchise that really contacted with the world then he would have his character go on and on about Star Trek. Spock would totally pwn Han Solo any day of the week.” Chimed in Fahd

“What?” replied Abdul “You veil pig”

this conversion soon turned into a shot out with a car bombing so we decided to leave. But we want to leave the American Military some advice. If you are occupion a country it might be a good ideal not leave pictures of a religious figure tied to religion that isn’t that popular with the people of the country or connect to a movie with content that would be considered to vaguer by over half the country. Next time you want to leave something that win the hearts and minds of the people leave a picture of something that makes everyone happy like kittens & puppies or a Vida Guerra’s ass. That butt can put a smile on anyone’s face.